those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
