Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
