How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
