Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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