Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize