i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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