i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
