Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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