we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So many bounce houses so little time
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize