I wish I only lived at night.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
50% drunk capacity currently
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out āmange moiā so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
