I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
