Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
