I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
