love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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