She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
