I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
