i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
my liver is dry heaving
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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