found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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