I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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