This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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