i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
