I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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