He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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