Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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