I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
