my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
