he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
