I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
