It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
How does it feel to date your dad?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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