I want to walk on stilts...naked
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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