I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
