Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
