In America we eat man semen.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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