carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
