Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize