So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
