im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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