hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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