I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
