is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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