A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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