problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
