Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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