so that wasnt chicken after all
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
