Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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