Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
