I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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