It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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