You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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