Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
