well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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