this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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