i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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