now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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