I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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