I just saw a hot homeless man
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
