I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
