Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
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i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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