I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
