these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
