I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize