do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
