Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
