Do vagina's smell?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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